The Michael Bay Film and Chaos Studies Department at the University of Wynwood, in conjunction with the Borscht Film Festival, Presents: "Two Panel Discussions That Will Detonate A Truck Full of Suitcases Full of Grenades in Your Brain", graciously hosted by Gallery Diet. Free to the public. Terrible wine will be served to those 21+.

Panel One: An Intimate Conversation with the University of Wynwood Lady Pythons Jai-Alai Team, moderated by sportswriter Matt Gajewski, in which the truth behind the team's triumphs, failures, and scandals are at last revealed in full. Kleenex will be provided. Running time: 25 minutes.

Brief Intermission

Panel Two: The Greatest American Director in the History of America, and Possibly God-Almighty Incarnate: An Unbiased Examination of the Groundbreaking Cinematic Career of Michael Bay, Benevolent Overlord of American Cinema. Panel members include: Former NY Mets First Baseman Keith Hernandez*, Lucas Leyva's Twelve-Year Old Cousin, Poet Dave Landsberger, and Film Historian Andrew Hevia. Running time: 30 minutes.

*The part of "Keith Hernandez" will be played by a mustache.